Dear Me!


Dear JBS:

This is going to be tough to hear.  Every once in a deep cobalt blue moon, extremely rarely, immensely never, you are wrong.  I know it sounds insane, almost even impossible, but sometimes your big beautiful brain full of opinions can get the best of your judgement.  Don’t be angry.  Let me explain:

Blue Water Cafe has always been one of those restaurants you tend to avoid.  I don’t know what the hell it ever did to you, but for some reason, ever since that weirdly anticlimactic date with that gorgeous poet who’s dinner you ultimately had to pay for, Blue Water has sadly fallen off your radar. And it isn’t fair.  Not only does it have accolades aplenty (including an Award of Excellence from Wine Spectator and an embarrassment of riches in star-studded reviews), but it’s known as THE place to go in Vancouver for seafood.  And you love seafood.  Plus, it’s got the kind of bar you live for that seems to go on forever with pretty bartenders in hipster glasses serving out-of-this-world cocktails made out of crazy shit like grilled pineapple chilli syrup. Sure, the place can be a little sceney. But no one can steal a scene quite like you.

Thankfully that crazy Liz Taylor-meets-Karen from Will and Grace talent agent of yours was demanding enough to deter you away from yet another meal at The Flying Pig and hustle you into Blue Water before you could protest.  Remember how welcoming and lovely the servers were as you teetered your Louboutine-clad feet to a prime place at that magnificent bar?  And who could forget that perfectly chilled glass of Joie Noble Blend (so hard to find your favorite wine in this city of ours/yours!) that appeared within seconds of service, along with the day’s fresh sheet of to-die-for seafood delicacies to ravage?

Since the Joie may have gotten the best of you, based only on the fact that you and agent-extraordinaire Lisa decided to switch specs halfway through the meal for an impromptu photo shoot, I’ll remind you of some highlights from your meal:

Startlingly fresh albacore tuna goma-ae marinated in soy and sesame….


Wildly rich and sublimely sweet red sea urchin trifle with avocado cream, peruvian gooseberries, and ponzu jelly……


Salty and wonderful marinated anchovies with parmesan and pearl barley…..


….. not to mention enough expertly crafted sushi rolls made by raw bar rockstar chef Yoshiya Maruyama to shake a gold-encrusted stick at.

Why on earth were you depriving yourself for so long of such riches?  You could have been perched at that bar on a weekly basis, slurping oysters and hobnobbing with Vancouver’s foodie regime this entire time!  Heck, if you’d been at it since you moved back home four months ago, by now you’d be regime queen!

So listen. Try to stay open-minded from now on. Stop being such a creature of habit.  That Boneta poutine/Coast lobster flatbread/Campagnolo bowl of crispy chickpeas is always going to be there (godwilling).  And just because a restaurant’s been such a staple for so long doesn’t mean it’s to be ignored; new doesn’t always equal great.  Sometimes the old tried and true is worth another chance.  Sometimes.  Don’t go calling that poet again just yet.

Sincerely, You

PS. Joie looks good on you.

9 Comments Add yours

  1. Josh says:

    How can you eat so much and not weigh 800 pounds?

    You’re my hero.

  2. Tom says:

    Don’ forget to try Bishop’s!

  3. I rarely eat seafood, but that looks down right delicious. Also, wish I can write to myself as you do so remarkably without sounding crazy . Beautifully written piece. She my heroine as well. 🙂

  4. Chrissy says:

    I second Josh. 🙂 You rock!

  5. James says:

    Alas, me thinks our fair food critic does not eat nearly as much as she writes. For to stay so slim & trim, she would have to be the ethereal beauty of the gym (aka a total gym rat).
    And from personal experience, I think I probably gained at least a pound, just from reading her review. :o)
    But it is oh so much fun to dream!

  6. Heather says:

    I’m generally not a seafood fan, with the exception of an incredible grilled teriyaki mahi-mahi I once had in Hawaii. I still have dreams of that fish…dreams that cause me to wake up wondering why my pillow is wet and then realizing I’d drooled all over it. Blue Water Cafe sounds like a place I’d be willing to try. I know my husband would. He loves dem fishies.

  7. Bernie says:

    Umi……so yummy!

    I like the glasses on you btw

  8. Warren says:

    I hope the Vancouver tourism promotion folks give you a Hero of the Speckled Abalone Award for your blog’s contribution to charming and enticing people to that wonderful rainy city.

    Are you collecting restaurant suggestions for Albuquerque?

  9. DWG says:

    I guess it’s OK to write a letter to yourself. After all, I personally talk to myself on occasion. It’s just that people sure do look at me funny when I answer!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.